Fear it or Befriend it: How to Create Positive Experience Shopping for New Clothes
For many, shopping for clothes can be a negative experience… time consuming, judgemental, discouraging, disappointing, costly. But it does not have to be. Often there is pressure to wait until you have hit your health goals before embarking on the journey for some new clothes or shoes. Think about a child, should they wait to get new clothes once they are done growing? No, they need things along the way during those transition periods. The same goes for you. Whether you are just embarking on your journey, well into it, or are in a maintenance phase, you ALWAYS deserve to look and feel your best.
Set Up for Success:
1. Consider if shopping is a solo or team sport. Is it helpful to have a friend or family member supporting and encouraging you, or do you like to shop at your own pace. You decide!
2. What environment will set you up for success (in-store vs. online)? Nowadays you can shop from the comfort of your own couch, but if you like to feel fabrics on your skin and learn more about the product, you may still want to visit a brick and mortar store.
3. Set a Time Limit. If you are feeling a little nervous, forcing yourself to shop until the end of the day may sound like an even more daunting experience. Set a time frame that you can realistically commit to.
4. Make a Body Respect List and bring it with you: Clothes shopping can sometimes bring up negative self-talk. Before you go, write a list of things you appreciate about your body, not for how it looks but for what it does. For example, you might write, "My body carries me through the day," "It allows me to hug the people I love," or "It gives me the ability to enjoy music, books, and laughter." This list is a reminder that your body deserves kindness and respect, no matter what size you are or want to be. Keep it in your bag or on your phone. If critical thoughts start to creep in while you are shopping or in the fitting room, take a moment to pause and read your list.
Navigating Shopping:
1. Read your Body Respect List.
2. Buy what makes you feel good, mentally and physically! Some of these prompts may help:
- Is this something I am going to be excited to wear?
- Will I feel good wearing this ?
- Will this fill a gap in my closet?
- Will I be comfortable in this?
3. Challenging Your Inner Dialogue: It is easy to get critical when you are faced with changing rooms that have poor lighting and are notoriously known for unflattering mirrors. Consider reframing some of your dialogue:
| Instead of… | Try… |
|---|---|
| What size am I? | What size do I feel most comfortable in? |
| This doesn’t fit. I am never going to find something. | I have not found the right fit yet. |
| I need to lose weight to get into X size. | I would never blame myself for my height (my pants being too long or short), so I don’t need to blame my weight either. |
| This looks terrible. | This is not my style or colour. |
| I hate shopping for clothes. | I have not found the way that shopping works for me. |
4. Sizing: Bring multiple sizes into the fitting room and identify what is most comfortable - not the size that you “should be”. Sizing is different between cuts or even styles within one brand. Think of your shoes, do you always wear the same size shoe in every brand and style?
Unwind From Shopping
1. Self- Care: If shopping is a challenging experience, take action to provide yourself comfort and self-care. Maybe a bath, walk, watch your favourite show or listen to music.
2. Nourishment: It can be tempting after a day of looking in the mirrors and trying clothes on to restrict intake. Instead, consider that you worked all day physically and mentally, and you need to replenish that energy.
3. Celebrate Wins: When we celebrate wins, that little surge of dopamine can make it easier to continue that habit. Celebrate heading to the store, using your body respect list, nourishing your body, or coming home with a new item!
Shopping can be an overwhelming process, however everyone deserves to look and feel their best, wherever they are on their weight management journey.
References
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/sites/default/files/ResourceHandouts/10StepsToPositiveBodyImage.pdf https://www.sarahherstichlcsw.com/blog/5-tips-for-shopping-with-poor-body-image https://www.brookemorgancounseling.com/blog/5-tips-for-shopping-when-you-are-struggling-with-body-image